Even Though It's Painful Always
by To-orima Nokurai
Summary: An ordinary student having an ordinary college life. Boring , isn't it? What if her bestfriend made her quest real? But meeting with a foul mouthed bandit isn't her cup of cake... or maybe...
1. Zettai Unmei The Absolute Destiny

**Even Though It's Painful… Always.**

By Me!!!

**Disclaimer**: I never did own FY. If I ever owned it, it will be more perverse!!! ^^;;; I only own the characters, Nokurai Toorima, Taimatsu Heren, Junsui Keito, and Fujimiya Michiru. 

**Author's Note**: This is the second version of the first chapter. I want to say sorry to those who reviewed me before. Actually, nothing changed. I happened to spot some grammatical errors and my friend (sakurabaka sagara) helped me in editing it. THANK YOU!!! Anyway, the first few chapters of the story are about a certain girl, and not a character of Fushigi Yuugi. But as the story continues, this certain girl goes to the Shinjinotensho, wherein the FY plot takes place. Please R+R!!! Hope you enjoy the fic!!!

**Contributor/s:** Sakurabaka Sagara. 

_Doko na no…?_

_Walking in an endless darkness…_

_Hearing only my footsteps and my curious breathing in the sinister world…_

_Cat-like bloody eyes darted from each direction…_

_"Watashi doko…?" I, again, questioned. Pushing back my auburn locks, the echoes of steps are again heard._

_Then, an icy chill ran up through my spine like an electric jolt passing through power lines, crimson eyes began to look tensed._

_A feeling that's so overwhelming…_

_So intense…_

_What is this?_

_Stepping a right foot forward, a vivid color of white quickly engulfed me. I shut my eyes close as I was dragged out of the shadows of the unknown dimension. _

_Suddenly, feeling easy, comfortable…_

_I once again regained consciousness of my surroundings, and then saw brightly orange fire dancing around me as if they were… _

_…alive._

_I walked, stepping on tiny flames along my way._

_Funny._

_Weird. _

_No pain was surging through me._

_As suddenly as the fire appeared, a voice was heard._

_So near as if it was whispering to me…_

_Murmuring the words that made my eyes widen in shock…_

_"Hitori ja nai…" _

An irritating beeping sound woke me up from the dream that kept bothering me. My hand quickly wandered to the lampshade table, looking for a thing that's needed to be destroyed… badly. Grasping it, my pointer finger pressed down the button. Silence reined the room.

I looked back at my alarm clock as I sat up on the edge of the mattress, thinking if I would really break it apart. My stomach protested, and that answered my thoughts. _Some other time…_ I grinned, slipping away from the bed.

**Chapter 1: Zettai Unmei (The Absolute Destiny)**

Ohayo, minna! The name's Nokurai Toorima, a freshman here in St. Paul University. 18 years of age and I just finished my debut a couple of months ago. I'm taking Fine Arts.

I'm living at an apartment all to myself! Quite independent huh? The truth is, both of my parents are working abroad as successful doctors and I was usually left all alone. My two brothers are unworthy to be with so I persuaded my parents in living here… and succeeded in doing so.   

The apartment space I've rented has the same rooms as an ordinary house should have: a kitchen, a living room, a dining room, a bathroom, and a couple of bedrooms. 1 bedroom is for me while the other one if sort of like a guest room. Right now, that room is full due to the reason that my friends slept here. One of them is sleeping here.

I'll tell you about them later, if I get a chance to.

But even though I live separated to my siblings, my parents are still responsible for my bills and financial needs.

I'm not that independent. ^.^ 

Reaching the kitchen, I swing open refrigerator, pulled out a carton of milk and took a healthy swig. _Delicious!_ My mind said, as my mouth continuously gulped down the contents of the container. As I felt it lightened a bit, I returned to its rightful place then walked silently towards my beloved gadget in the whole wide world: the computer. 

Before sitting on the cushioned chair, I glanced around the room. _Some people are just sooo lazy_! I sighed to myself, looking at the lightly snoring Heren. 

I reached for the switch and as quietly as I could, I opened it. I suddenly noticed the speaker was on… and the volume was turned to the maximum! I swiftly grabbed the dial but I was too late.

Due to the booming sound it made, my friend woke up. I looked at her with my two ruby eyes pleading for mercy. _Too much of evaluating someone as being lazy._ She just sighed and said, "You're still a computer geek." She stated before strolling towards her bag to get her organizer. As usual, I didn't react as to her declaration. 

"I'm aware of that, Heren-chan." I shot back. It was true anyway. Do you expect any normal college student to fiddle through her computer every morning? You might imagine how much the electric company charges me. The girl with azure hair squinted at me before going back to what she's doing. Routinely, she always arranged her schedule everyday. And I mean EVERYDAY. Did you ever see a person who makes a schedule a week before the date, or even a schedule for the month! 

Then, a web page suddenly popped out from the screen. Oops, I completely forgot that I'm already on-line. In the search box of a certain portal, my fingers typed the words "meaning of dreams" and pressed enter.

Looking blankly at the monitor, my attention went to the vision I have this morning.

_Hitori ja nai… _

"You're not alone." I mumbled the translated version. Those were the last words the mysterious voice said. _What does it mean?_

_Why does those words seem so… real?_

_As if it true?_

_Am I really not alone?_

_Of course I have my family, relatives, and friends so I'm not really all by myself._

_But…_

"Hello! Earth to Toorima! Earth to Toorima!" A voice interrupted my musings, and a hand was going up and down as if it tries to break a trance. I tilted my head upwards and saw Heren once more, giving me the what-the-hell-is-happening-to-you look.

A weak smile was pasted on my lips, "It's nothing, really. I'm just wondering about the meaning of dreams, that's all." I reasoned, even though I was wondering the meaning of MY dream. "What do you want anyway?" 

She gave another look. With a small frown, a raised eyebrow and arms crossed, I bet she's giving me an expression that can be translated into a simple sentence: I don't believe you. _She's not convinced._

My right hand fiddled through my hair, thinking what would I say.

A lie?

No. You'll get her even more worried.

The truth?

She might think I'm a little girl still scared of the monster that lives under the bed. 

Then, what?

Idea!

"Actually…" I started in a serious manner. "I've been having the same dream that kept bothering me for weeks now." I took a glimpse of her facial expression. She's listening. 

Good. 

"And these dreams have something similar to one another, a similarity for short. Passion is a factor."

"Fire-filled obsession."

"Heat melting satisfaction into the night."

I saw her face reddened a bit. She's getting the point.

"Fierce movements of lustrous skins."

"E---"

A whack in the head interrupted me from finishing my sentence, followed by series of strikes and light punches. "HENTAI NO BAKA!!!" she shouted as she collared me. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO PERVERSE AT THIS TIME OF MOOD?! I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND YOU GIVE A STUPID EXPLANATION!!!"

"I thought you wanted to know what's my dream all about!" I explained with a grin. 

"OOOHHH! YOU'RE HOPELESS!!!"

After that statement, our room door opens with force. Someone's at the door with a familiar battle aura. _Uh-oh, time to scram off the scene_, I thought as the dangerous blonde girl set her foot down the carpeted floor. 

"Who, in this room, wants her vocal chords to be ripped away from her throat?" She said in a tone of a Reaper. 

I pointed at my roommate. "She's your suspect, Keito-san. I'll be taking a bath now. Ja!" I quickly scampered away from the room, not wanting to see what "diabolic" torture she's thinking. Closing the door behind me, I heaved out a relieved sigh. _What a morning!_ I talked to myself as I heard a series of curses and crashes from the place where I escaped.

Even though I "own" the room, I don't want to interfere anything that involves Keito-san.

* * * * *

When my comrades left, I locked up the door behind me. I started running and descended three floors. Reaching the parking lot, I unlocked the door of my red Toyota Lexus™. Really, it's my childhood dream to own such luxurious car, I silently recollected while I ran my hand along its gentle features. 

The engine gained life.

I played my favorite J-pop songs as I go out of the parking space in reverse. _This is life!_ A smile appeared on my energetic face. 

No worries.

No stupid dream. 

No anything!

Simply a moment worth relaxing to.

But suddenly, I heard a mystifying song playing on the speakers.

_Strange._

I never heard of this before. But why the singer's voice is so recognizable?

_"Hitori ja nai…" _

I rubbed off that thought away from my mind and focused it on the song.

The melody was soft and gentle like the wind found only in mountains. 

_Fresh._

_Uplifting._

_Yet, it's so…_

_Sad._

_Abandoned._

_As if it was looking for someone. _

_Someone who didn't return the same emotions…_

_Emotions filled with_

_…love._

Out of curiosity, I took a glance on the CD player screen. 

The title read there was: 

Setsunakutemo… Zutto.

_Even Though It's Painful… Always _

"_Someone_ has to do some explanation today." I said, speeding up a little along the hi-way.

* * * * *

St. Paul University…

As usual, I'm slumped on my sit yet still listening "attentively" on the teacher's yakking. Oh man, college life is waaaay too different from high school. You know, the 1-5 grade marks, different rooms to explore, different schedules and breaks. But a certain relationship is still maintained here in college.

Teachers are still the BOSS.

Students will always be the EMPLOYERS.

Unless, one of the two characters get along.

You get the point.

Speaking of students, where is that Michiru anyway?

She better clear out things about that weird song in the CD she gave to my 2 years ago.

"Ms. Nokurai!"

"Hai?"

"Pay attention!"

"Hai, sensai!"

I heard a group of boys snicker behind me. No one is DARING enough to mock the Akuma! 

Bloody red eyes shot them a death glare as I take my seat, clearly saying the message they didn't want to know. That would make them shiver whenever they see me. I'm gonna make this semester HELL to you!!!

They gulped as they raised their begging eyes to me, asking for forgiveness.

That only works for angels like Heren.

Not on devils like me.

Giving them an evil grin, I faced the green blackboard once more, causing the boys to think of ways to get the mercy out of me.

Childish. 

Giving flowers.

Buying meals.

Texting non-stop.

Many have already tried those methods.

But none of them seem to work.

Why?

Because I make sure that they learn a moral lesson after this. The hard way. I scribbled something on a piece of paper and passed it to them. 

They might be thinking that I've forgiven them

Wrong.

I saw a few horrified faces as pairs of eyes read the words written in black ink.

"You shouldn't pick on to someone that you can't seem to handle."

"Good luck! : )"

* * * * *

Well, after a long search around school, I finally stumbled on Michiru in her dorm room. Sketching Mother Nature's exotic beauty outside her window before it fades. I greeted her with a bonk on her head and a bunch of curses. The purpose of my visit came right after.

She simply said:  "It's just a hidden track, so don't make a big fuss about it."

Surprised crimsons met relaxed jades.

"Sou ka… I thought it was something else…" My question was finally answered. My friend seemed to be thinking, drinking her tea in peace.

"It was supposed to be a surprise."

"Yeah right, it surprised me alright."

She looked at me when she heard the sarcastic answer from me. "Oh, you thought it was something to do with your haunting hallucination."

I carefully settled down the goblet down. "It is not a hallucination." I uttered.

"More like a vision of…"

Of what?

The future?

The future of oneself?

Of me?

"Or a vision of one's absolute destiny?" I heard her mumble, words seemed to continue my string of thoughts. I saw her with closed eyes, still drinking.

_What are they for?_

_What do they mean?_

She told me one time that dreams have many reasons.

A hidden fantasy.

An escape from reality.

A reason.

A purpose of life.

A mission.

Or

The upcoming event.

"You're freaking out." She blandly said.

I didn't mind her, as usual. I heaved out a sigh. "But even though I'm being haunted by an unknown force, life is sure boring here. I mean, I'm hungry for an adventure!" I said with all my might, raising my fist in the air. "I imagined myself fighting ferocious mythical dragons of the deepest sea, climbing the never-reached mountains! Calming the savage beast unknown to man!"

Michiru smiled at me. 

_Just like a kid_, she thought.

_It's been a while since I saw her in this mood._

_After the dream, she was never the same energetic Toorima._

_Maybe…_

_Just maybe…_

"Ne Toorima, since I couldn't attend your debut couple of months ago," she stopped my imaginative quest, "I would give you a present tomorrow. Would that be okay?"

I eyed her for a few seconds. Whenever she brings up something like that, consequences always follow. Just like what happen when she gave me a belated Christmas present: an ancient doll from her Grandma. It turned out to have a spirit lingering inside it. 

What happened?

The Christmas present in a cute blue kimono ran after me with a samurai sword on its hand!

Of course, she would give me the angelic face (plus the imaginary halo floating above her head) and those 'puppy eyes' to get my mouth to say yes.

And it will forever work.

_Poor me. _

"Okay, okay fine!" I said in mock surrender. She gave me a quick hug before pushing me towards the door.

"Time to go home, Sayonara!"

She closed the door, leaving me totally speechless.

I did what my feet bid me: go straight to the parking lot and drive all the way home. But I can't shake the uneasy ambiance. Micchi's just going to give me a present, what's the scary part there?

But why did her lips form an unusual grin when she said the word 'present'?

Continued…

* * * * *

I know it sucks because the main character isn't involved in FY. As I said before, the FY plot will be filled in as the story progresses, so please be patient! In the meantime, please review…

Flames or not, I'm glad to get any criticism from a reader!

By the way, you'll be able to know who's the FY character just by the name of the fic!


	2. Hateshinai Yami wo Dakishimete Mama Embr...

**Even Though It's Painful… Always.**

By Nokurai To-orima

**Disclaimer****:** I never did own FY. If I ever owned it, it will be more perverse!!! ^^;;; And the main character wouldn't be Miaka Yuuki. I only own the characters, Nokurai Toorima, Taimatsu Heren, Junsui Keito, and Fujimiya Michiru (Micchi). 

**Author's Note****:** Thank you for the reviews!!!! I really love people that give an effort to review a fanfic, or any fic they read due to the reason that it makes the author more motivated to write. Take it from me, I know what the authors feel when no one is reviewing them. As I said before, FY plot will take place on maybe the third chapter!!! Once again, hope you like the next chapter and please R+R!!!

_An immense space of nonexistence._

_Heartbeats began to speed up._

_Breaths start to shorten._

_Nervousness conquered calmness._

_Eyes began to search for a quick exit, desperate to get away from what seemed to be like a dream…_

_My feet halted as I realized something._

_It started all over again. _

_The same dream repeating for a hundredth time. But it seems to be different from before. There was no blinding light to yank me away. What is it this time?_

_And suddenly, familiar blazes appeared before me, dancing with grace as if they were on stage and I was the audience. _

_But, pain began to surge through my skin._

_No more numbness_

_Normally, I would try to get away from being consumed. But there I stood, the fire prancing around me, telling me to stay and die. _

_Yes._

_I'm tired._

_Weary of Life's routine._

_Exhausted of existing._

_My knees loosened, and I found myself lying on a bed of fire. Emotionless eyes stares up at the never-ending darkness as flames burn down every cell of my being._

_"Are you giving up?"_

_A familiar voice_

_"Answering the call of Death isn't the best method of evading reality."_

_The same voice haunting me every now and then._

_"Are you a coward?"_

_COWARD?!_

_"I am NOT!" I shouted, standing up with anger and fury._

_"Then why are you running away from your destiny?"_

_My destiny?_

**Chapter 2: Hateshinai Yami wo Dakishimete Mama (Embracing the Endless Darkness)**

_"It's your fate to be one of the darkness. But destiny ruffles with fate like bickering children, yet that brings you to a future filled with light."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Fate and Destiny are both different words yet they both do wonders."_

_"And remember…"_

"Toorima!"

_"In that weaved fate..."_

"Ei, Toorima!"

_"And that planned out destiny…"_

"Wake up, Toorima!"

_"You're not alone."_

_* * * * *_

"Eh? Wh-what?" Blurry vision suddenly became clearer as I rubbed my eyes with both hands and met the bright sunshine and the concerned face of my friend, Heren. Sitting up, I found myself in the school garden, under the shade of the budding sakura tree with several sketchpads and a bag scattered around me. 

"You slept again, didn't you?" she said, pouting. "You certainly have your own ways of skipping class."

I apologized with an obvious embarrassed face, and then I told her that I slept late last night thinking about the present Micchi's going to give me today. "And I didn't skip! It seemed to be that I was left behind when we were required to sketch this horizon." I added.

She smirked at me, "Yeah, right. One of your lame excuses."

"Shut up! What the hell are you doing here anyway?!"

"I happened to pass by when I saw you snoozing peacefully, so I decided to bother you. And a couple of boys told me to give you this." She handed me a carton of imported chocolates with an "I'm sorry" note on top of it. "I doubt that they were your secret admirers so I guess they were the victims you found yesterday, am I right?"

I gave her a glare until someone shouted: "Rima-chan! Over here!" and my face automatically fell when my "nickname" was used in the call. Seeing a cherry red-haired girl running on the grass with the same color of her eyes, I was sure that was Michiru. I greeted her with the usual gesture: a whack and a few curses while Heren smiled at the now crying Micchi with band-aids visible on her head. 

She then spotted the package handed over me seconds ago. "Is that from a friend or a prey?"

"Ah you know, same-same." I replied, munching a piece of chocolate, "Want some?"

Michiru took one as she quickly sat under the cherry blossom tree and look through her things in her black bag. Heren bid goodbye as soon as the school bell rang. When I placed myself beside her, she pulled out a box with strange symbols engraved on it, like it was from centuries ago. 

_Not again!_

Seeing me as white as the clouds roaming on the sky, Michiru let out a giggle. "If you're thinking something is going to happen, then follow your instincts."

I gulped.

"I'm just joking!"

"Y-You don't sound like one." I blurted out.

The pink-haired girl set aside the box, and got out a deck of cards that she's been using to predict her friends' as well as her own future. "Before that," She started, arranging the cards in her hands, "I've been trying to grasp on the meaning of your dream. And from my cards, I found out something."

I looked at her, interested on what she's about to say.

She let out a sigh, "You told me once that your dreams have a parallel similarities. These are darkness, coldness, fire and a message."

I nodded, affirming her that she's correct.

She pulled out two cards. One is a blank one while the other portrays a woman in black, chained and bloody. "Darkness and coldness means that there is a lone soul who is isolated from society and environment."

_Abandoned?_

Michiru settled down the first cards before pulling out another, "Spirit, energy, passion and inspiration. All of these are descriptions or emotions equivalent to the third element of your dream. The fire." The card has an image of another woman holding together two pieces of a broken heart while the flames covered her naked body.

"Fire is said to be a somewhat an intensity of emotions, a need to release feelings."

_Full with emotions…_

"And from the looks of it… it would be connected to love."

_Love?_

_Just like the song._

_Is my fate tangled up with that song?_

_Is it possible?_

"Finally," she showed me the card before laying it below the other cards. "The message." She scratched her head, and gave me a weak smile before saying, "I have no idea what this means!" Causing me to have tons of rocks falling on my head. 

"MICCHI!!!" I roared as my hands reached for her neck, wanting to strangle her severely.

"But," she added quickly as if trying to stop my attempt, "I think the message is said by someone you will see in the near future… probably your future sweetheart." She teased.

"NANI?!" I turned as red as a tomato while she was giggling like mad. She loves to tease me, especially if it involves boys. "You know very well that I'm not interested having a lovey-dovey!"

She playfully slapped me on my shoulder, "Oh Rima-chan, you're so kawaii when you're blushing!"

"Stop calling me that!"

She then get a hold of the wooden box she pulled out earlier. "But please do me one favor." Her voice was in a tone of a concern mother for her child. She gingerly opened it, revealing a Chinese paintbrush and a black liquid contained in a small bottle. She looked back at me. "Also according to the cards, Fate has given you many obstacles to go through. One of them would be death." 

A shiver ran up my spine as I recalled my dream.

_I wanted to die back then…_

_Just because I wanted to escape from my what might happen to me…_

_But…_

As usual, something interrupted my thoughts, and involves somewhat slick and wet traveling through my upper back. I took a glance and saw my best friend painting something on my back with her paintbrush. "What are you doing?" I asked with questioning eyes.

She continued scribbling down, "I'm putting a spell on you, baka!"

_That's Michiru talk for "I'm worried about you, you idiot. I'm doing this for your sake, so quit asking stupid questions."  _I thought. She ONLY says words such as "baka" whenever she's troubled or pissed off on something. 

As steadily as I could, I reached for my sketchpad and a pencil and started drawing. Stillness between us dominated, making the rustling of leaves the only sound that you could hear. 

Destiny…

A smile was engraved on my lips. "Michiru, no one knows what the future holds. The cards may be right at one point yet the one who twists the delicate thread of destiny is only that person and no other." She looked at me, surprised.

"It's not that I don't believe you or the cards but…"

"I do what I want to do, accepting what fate would bring me. But when it comes to destiny, I'm the one planning it."

I watched her, wishing that those words would relax her even for a little. But instead, she didn't reply at all or even showed a sign that she's relieved at all. My smile suddenly became a forlorn one. I scratched my head, _Oh man, I probably made her even more anxious…_

Surprisingly, I received a pat on my shoulder. "Thanks for worrying about me." she finally said, a genuine smile showed up. I returned that grin of hers with mine, "I should be the one thanking you. Besides, what are best friends for?" 

We stared at each other's eyes, and then burst into fits of laughter. 

_Tomodachi… _

_Who can live without them…_

"Okay, I'm finally finished!"

"You really made me a vandalizing board…"

"Mou, Rima-chan, you're really an Akuma! You don't appreciate my work… *sob sob*"

"Quit calling me Rima-chan!!!"

* * * * *

Paper flew everywhere. 

Droopy eyes staring uncomprehendingly at the monitor as fingers input data at the late hour of the night.

Finally, the printer hummed into life and started printing.

"At last, I'm done!" I stretched my arms upwards before returning the encyclopedias into the bookshelf. After months of sleepless nights and slavery, I have finished editing my English term paper! After organizing the 21-page document, I switched off the computer and quickly retired for the night. 

I slept like a stone for several hours, but in the dark before dawn, I sat upright with now wide-awake eyes and a dream that haunted me for ages. _Stupid dream! I can't even have a decent slumber!!!_

I suddenly remembered the very belated birthday card Michiru gave me.

_---Flashback---_

_"Rima-chan!"_

_"Not you again…" I gently slap my face in mock disbelief._

_She gave me frown, "There you go again, putting up that Akuma attitude of yours. I just forgot to give you your gift." She held out a scented baby blue envelope._

_Oh great. She remembered._

_"Now keep in mind," she added right after I get a hold of her present. "I want you to read it tomorrow and not today. You promise?"_

_I sighed, deciding to go along with her favor, "Yokkai…"_

_---End of Flashback---_

Carefully opening it, I silently prayed that it was nothing strange, and sighed out in relief when I pulled out a normal birthday card. I tentatively opened it, and to my surprise, a piece of parchment with strange scribbles was stapled in it. It had a beautiful artwork of a mythical creature. A dragon, with emerald scales shining like an armor sitting on a rock, looked at me with its golden eyes.

Mesmerized by the drawing, I outlined its head with my finger, indulging every detail of the exotic art. 

"Hitori ja nai…"

I shook my head and looked again. _I thought it just said that._ Then just below the image, some strange words are written on it. I uttered it out loud as if I was chanting:

_Sors salutis et virtutis_

(Fate opposes me in vitality)

_michi nunc contraria,_

(and morality)

_est affectus_

(forced ever onward,)

_et defectus_

(burdened,)

_semper in angaria_

(always in chains.)

_Hac in hora_

(So this very moment,)

_Sine mora_

(without tarrying,)

_Corde pulsum tangite_

(pluck the quivering strings.)

_quod per sortem sernit fortem,_

(Because Fate punishes the one who plays,)

_mecum omnes plangite!_

(all lament with me!)

The paper began to glow with an eerie sapphire light that soon filled the room, strong wind roamed around the place. What the?! Crimson eyes widen as I saw a recognizable yellow eyes staring back at me. Without further warning, the light enclosed my whole being, watching orbs still there. As a muffled scream escaped from my lips, a great flash of blue light blinded me and took me away to an unknown universe.

When the light faded and the wind subsided, a person was sitting by the window.

"Ganbatte, Rima-chan…" The shadowy figure said. As the sun greeted the world, its faint rays illuminated a cherry-haired woman smiling in front of a window

* * * * *

Once more…

I'm in the ever-familiar world of nothingness…

And all by myself.

Just together with my friend…

The darkness.

Not anymore a dream…

It's reality.

…

No.

I don't want this!

I'm so scared.

I don't want to be alone.

I don't want the obscurity.

The azure glow doesn't help me ease my fear that's now materializing in my mind.

Michiru…

Keito…

Heren…

Anyone…

Tasukete…

I'm frightened…

But no one answered my plea.

No one can help me except for myself.

But I can't even help myself!!!

All I can do is wait…

And embrace the endless darkness.

Continued…

* * * * *

Another chapter ended! 

***Achoo!***

And another cold attacked me…. *sigh* But that doesn't stop me from writing! Ohohohohohohoho!!! *cackles* By the way, has anyone guessed who's the FY character going to appear next chapter? I hope so! Oh yeah, I just reread my previous chapter and I quite forgot to put a reference on what some of the Japanese words means. But I concluded that people reading anime fanfics are already familiar with them. But if you're not that kind of person, just inform me and I'll be glad to put up a glossary for you, yoshi? (yoshi means okay).

And another thing, about the cards and stuff, I just made it up! But the meaning of the dream is a result of thorough research on encyclopedias, psychologists, and web pages on the net (I have the habit to put some factual information on my fics).

Oh yeah, the chant is from Carmina Burana of the 13th Century. Cool ne?

Here's a message for the reviewers.

**To Otaku Pitcher:** Thanks a lot for reviewing my work! I really appreciated it! So, you've also noticed that my plot doesn't move so much… hehehe . Actually, it was for the sake of the knowing what the main character was pondering about but I'll try to improve it much more in the upcoming chapters. Hope you like this one also and keep reviewing!!! ^.^ (By the way, I really like the way you evaluated my work!) Don't you have any fanfics posted up?

**To Kittychan:** Of course I remember you! I'm glad that you seem to notice people who are reviewing you. Thanks for leaving a comment about my work and I'm looking forward your works and hope you'll review all throughout my story! I'll keep you updated as well. Anyway, I really, REALLY loved your dramatic poems! My friends and I actually cried when they read "And I Still Wait" when they visited my house *sweatdrop*

**To margaux_urameshi:** Arigatou gozaimasu for your time in reading my fanfic and reviewing it! I'm really grateful for your effort! I hope you'll read it as the story progress. Anyway, do you have any plans dropping at CCHQ after the anime convention? I'm going to pick up the Vol. 6 of Fruit Basket! Kyo-kun!!! AISHITTERU!!! *squeals* Hehehe, sorry, I got too excited. I'll just see you guys at the anime con. Okay? Ja! 

**To Kirsche:** I can't even understand your name!!! Anyway, thanks for the review! A couple of words are better than none! Hehehe ^.~ By the way, I've already put up something on our BBS and on your website! I dunno when I'll be posting up my site since I'm still a beginner so… probably during school days… I'll just keep you updated, okay? **AND KYO-KUN IS MIIIIIIINNNNEEE!!!!!** Have you even read FURUBA??!! Hehehe, I've read it online! Bwahahahahaha!!! And I know his little secret…

**To Sakurabaka Sagara:** THANK YOU FOR THE EDITING AND REVIEW IN MY E-MAIL!!!!! I OWE YOU!!!!!!

For any questions, ideas of the next chapters, please drop me a mail in **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com. **I'll be grateful to you.

Until then, keep those reviews coming! 


	3. Unmei no RUUTO Route of Destiny

**Even Though It's Painful… Always.**

By Nokurai To-orima

**Disclaimer**: I never did own FY. If I ever owned it, it will be more perverse!!! ^^;;; And the main character wouldn't be Miaka Yuuki. I only own the characters, Nokurai Toorima, Taimatsu Heren, Junsui Keito, and Fujimiya Michiru. 

**Author's Note**: GOMEN NASAI!!! I'm really sorry about the delay!!! Gaaakk!! Talk about hectic schedule, I'm having three mock exams at the same time!!! *sigh*… I don't wanna talk about it. But anyway, I'm really, REALLY sorry! I hope I didn't ummm… neglected those who kept reviewing me. I hope you'll forgive me. 

_Clinching the darkness…_

_Seeking for an exit…_

_It will be over…_

_Finally…_

A light shimmered somewhere in front me, indicating that the travel is coming to an end. 

_At last…_

With that, I was blinded by the comforting light and felt a floating feeling before my awareness left me.

* * * * *

I opened my eyes little by little. It took me a while to realize that I was lying at the ground covered with snow. Unable to recall how I'd gotten here, I slowly sat up and rest my back on the damp tree trunk behind me, as more flakes seem to found their way on my hair and shoulders. _Looks like I'm not dressed in this occasion…_ I mumbled when my eyes became more focused, looking at my t-shirt and khaki pants and no shoes. When my trembling hands roamed around the snow, I felt a familiar gadget. My Diskman… how'd it got here? Suddenly, I remembered everything: 

_I was reading the words written under the dragon image and when suddenly I disappeared_

_in bands of blue light and traveled in space through a pleasantly hot swirl of the same aura._

Hearing jingling sounds, I stood up, placing my Diskman in my side pocket and looked at the direction where the clatters were coming from.

"Oi, what's this? A woman alone in the middle of the night? We're in luck, boys."

It was difficult to see in the dusk, but I saw well enough to identify men in an unfamiliar type of armor as about a dozen horsemen dismounts to encircle me. _This can't be good. I'm not completely recovered from my unexpected travel. Is this how they greet a visitor other places?  Or from other world?_  

"…"

"Wow, she's giving us the silent treatment!" grinned the apparent leader, "A shy type, I couldn't play with that kind!" 

"I got no problems about that! Let's take her back with us, I don't want to expose myself to the weather," offered one soldier, and was answered with dark laughter from the others.

I watched them silently, taking in every provoking words and hilarity they make, until I felt a sudden battle aura blaze up inside of me. "Mocking will bring the Reaper out of me…"

Another laughter arose. "Oh please! Don't kill me!" Another soldier teased, trying to imitate a girl's voice. "I promise not to—"

Before he could finish his pathetic dialogues, I punched him on the abdomen, gave an uppercut right under the chin and a quick kick on his right cheek, making him fly towards the tree I was leaning against earlier. I brought out the sword from the beaten guard. I scowled at the men with the famous devilish smile. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you…"

The men suddenly held their spears, "You'll pay for that!" The captain shouted fiercely a war cry as they attacked. 

"Come and get me."

Slashing them severely, I swiftly moved in between them. After a few cuts and lacerations, I stood there before the lying and kneeling men, who were obviously in pain.

"Underestimating an Akuma isn't going to help you." I glared at them, eyes showing no emotions at all. I kneeled behind a man and pointed the cutting edge towards his neck, "Now... shall I kill you and bring your eternal slumber?" I continued, with a wicked smile engraved on my delicate face.   

Before I could make the blood drip, someone hit me with wood on the head, causing me to fall unconscious unto the snow. Coldness pierced through my flesh after a few minutes as I heard them laugh for the last time before my vision was turned black.

**Chapter 3: Unmei no Ruuto (Route of Destiny)**

_For how many times, I stepped on the familiar space of darkness._

_I shivered, thinking that I'm still alone._

_And it's true._

_"So, we meet again… _

_Nokurai Toorima."_

_I spotted a vague figure standing a few distance away from me, seemingly strolling towards me. I became agape once I distinguished the pink-haired woman looking at me with excited green eyes._

_I was wrong._

_I wasn't alone. She's here with me. I flashed her a relieved smile as I quickly ran towards her and gave a hug. "Oh Michiru! Yokatta! I thought I'm going to be on my own again in this nightmare!" I look at her face, seeing what would her reaction be about being in this world and all._

_She smiled, but it was different. Different from what she usually gave me whenever we were together at school. And it wasn't just the smile; it was everything about her. Sensing something unusual, I pulled away from her like I don't know her. Her smile widens, "You sensed it, didn't you?"_

_I took a step back, "Who are you?!" _

_"What would you do if someone you know happens to be not the real person?"_

_"Someone who's responsible for something you feared?"_

_"Someone who manipulated your dreams and turned them into nightmares?"_

_"Someone who is guilty about the things happening to you?"_

_"Someone who is no other…_

_Than your bestfriend."_

_"You're lying…" Crimson eyes widen in disbelief. "Michiru wouldn't do something like that!"_

_She laughed in a horrible manner. "You wouldn't believe me? Why Rima-chan, whatever happened to your so-called 'Akuma' attitude? Devils aren't supposed to be scared out of their wits!"_

_Rima-chan?!_

_I flicked a finger, pointing at her, red pools becoming bloodier than before. "No one has the right to call me by my nickname except for my best friend!"_

_Her laughter also became more darker and horrible, "Why, my dear Akuma, do you deny the fact that the one who you're calling Michiru is I?!"_

_"The truth… _

_Is always painful…"_

_My feet were frozen right into darkness' floor as she took steps towards me, emerald eyes searching the depths of the pools of blood. "Why don't you return to the real world and face what fate has prepared for you?"_

_My Fate?_

_In this world?_

_She leaned closer and whispered,  "And in every darkness, there's bound to be a light…"_

_With that, I disappeared, feathers taking my place._

* * * * *

*Sigh…*

The young woman, also known as Fujimiya Michiru, opened her stressed green eyes as her hands shuffled through the cards. She sighed once more before the glow of her body disappeared. She stood up, looking around the apartment space where To-orima was supposed to be in it. Both of them usually hang out in here, watching TV, sketching, you name it. But now, the joyful atmosphere deserted it, leaving the opposite feeling: Sadness. And she felt it. She walked towards the mirror, looking at her reflection.

_Am I really the Michiru that To-orima knows?_ Her hand touched the silver piece. _I was certainly different from her dream._

She held out the 'message card' she used in predicting To-orima.

And I lied…

To my own best friend…

I lied about not knowing about the meaning of her dream.

Even though I knew about it…

…

I was scared about letting her know.

Letting her know that she was meant to be on a journey in search…

Of her true identity…

But…

But…

Being alone and rejected was always been her weakness. Making up the devilish attitude of hers was just a mask to cover up the frailty of her spirit. Just like what happened a few years back…

_---Flashback---_

_"Rima-chan!"_

_No answer._

_"Rima-chan?"_

_A soft murmur._

_"Michiru?"_

_When I saw her curled up in a corner of her room, I kneeled beside her. "Daijobou?"  Concern and questions flooded my veins as my trembling hands met her shoulders._

_Blood._

_Thin crimson ribbons trickled down her pastel arch of her right wrist, staining the water a pink tone in a porcelain basin, like the clouds before the sunset._

_Green eyes stared in horror, as her left hand held the silvery blade that was responsible for the incision, then a curve was visible on her lips. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"_

_Her eyes watched with delight as blood dripped, flowed over her arm. "Hollow."_

_"What…"_

_"Emptiness. Worthless. Cold emotions begin to eat my soul away." She murmured, emotionless. _

_"Toorima, what happened to you? Why are you acting this way?!" Trepidation and fury were raw and real in my voice._

_I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes as she closed them, wanting to see nothing. Not wanting to feel anything.  "He left me, Michiru. He didn't…lo… " She broke down, never finishing her sentence. But I understand her. With comforting words and a protective embrace, I let her express through her tears the meaninglessness and pain she had felt._

_---End of Flashback---_

Since then…

She became cold.

She cursed men.

She cursed love.

She cursed the world.

She cursed her Life.

And she completely changed.

Tears suddenly flowed beyond control.

_Like her…_

_I've changed._

_I'm not the Michiru she used to know…_

Silently.

Sincerely.

She asked for forgiveness to the best friend she entrapped in the other world and prayed for her safety.

"Kami-sama, let Rima-chan struggle through the hardships she have to confront…"

Tears continued to trickle on her cheeks as Heaven's own icy tears fell down from the velvet blanket of the night.

* * * * *

Clomp. Clomp. Clomp. Clomp.

Birds chirping for the last time of the day

Small animals going back to their homes

The faint glimmers in the dark skies begin to look like diamonds

…

Observing nature's white season is not something a typical hostage would do. But with my hands tied tightly and a dozen of soldiers guarding my every move, this is the best thing to do to pass time. I stared out the window, lost in thought. The carriage is way too slow for me. Too slow that it made me think about the dream.

Naze?

Michiru…

Do you think I deserve such Fate?

The fate that you manipulated?

For what?

To punish me for being an 'Akuma'?

I don't get it.

Simply because…

Flakes began to shower once more, falling like feathers of an angel, getting me out of my ruminations. Winter.

Coldness.

Yes, I feel it.

It's not the weather though.

It was something inside.

Something that I have felt for so long…

"We're here!" a man shouted.

Finally, we've arrived at the outskirts of a city that seems to be in an ancient time. _Just like in the history book I've read months ago_, I thought, people in the street makes faces of fury and fear as they let the carriage pass. This was the largest population I'd ever seen in one place, even though it was winter, they were still outside. The streets and building fronts were decorated with streamers. 

_An occasion, maybe._ I smelled the fragrances of food and flowers drifted across the busy streets as they rode toward the palace. 

Several serious-faced men, who vigorously swing open the wooden door of the coach, met us just inside the palace gates. Exiting, four soldiers escorted me to the palace, as the others seemed to know what they're doing. As they ushered me across a small courtyard and long hallways dimly lighted by lamps, men on post gave me a suspicious looks. _Well, what do you expect? I'm like an alien here._ After a while, we reached a huge rose-hued curtain. When pulled back, it revealed a spacious room that seemed to be the throne room. Arranged at the convoluted carved wooden table beautiful bud vases and urns filled with rare oils and exquisite scents of rose and lilacs. Lighted oil lamps were set at each end of the room, giving off a stimulating atmosphere. Palace guards stand side by side at the aisle that leads into the Emperor's seat.

Nice…

A sudden push from my escorts reminded me to move, not to stare like an idiot. Walking on the carpeted floor, I was directed to the Emperor.

"Your Highness," The soldier beside me started, "this is the girl that appears to be a spy from Konan." 

Konan?

"Hey, wait a minute! I don't know what the hell you're talking about! I just know that I can't go back to my own world and—"

_Oh no, they probably think I'm crazy or…_

_…_

_Who cares?!_

The Emperor stood up from his seat. He walked towards me, noting my unworldly appearance and all. A hand held up my chin as auburns met rubies. "You say you came from the other world, my lady?"  

"So what?"

He laughed, "Amusing, aren't you? After the former Emperor was executed, there was a girl from another world, like you, who became the Seiryuu no Miko. Are you the next priestess of Seiryuu?"

"Seiryuu…?"

Continued…

* * * * *

Yahoo!!! 

I've finally put in the FY settings in chapter 3! *Celebrates* Hehehe. Anyway, I'm feeling much better now, although I've got too many work load from my summer review classes for college. You know, for college entrance exams ^.^. I'm going to aim for the best schools!!! *Dreamy look*

Someone already guessed the FY character going to be appearing!

You might be wondering how Michiru is connected to the Universe of the Four Gods. Well, the answer will surface at the next chapter so don't worry!

And why in KUTUO? All will be answered on the next chapter! .

And as usual, I'm going to leave messages to my reviewers:

**To Sakurabaka Sagara:** Once again, I wanted to thank you for editing and reviewing this chapter. I'm sorry about the hassle but my brain is dying this month due to the workload I'm having classes… *sigh* Just wish me good luck during mock exams!!! Anyway, I'll be sending the fourth chapter as soon as I finish it. ^.^ Speaking about fanfics, I really like what you've sent me! =_=

**To Kirsche:** C'mon! Tell me the title of your fanfic!!!! I want to read it!!!! Onegai, onegai, onegai!!! Maybe its just about you and Heero that's why you don't want to tell me! *smile* Did you do something VERY naughty in that story of yours? Hehehehe… Oh yeah, I wanted to thank you for supporting me in my college exams. I'm forever in your debt… well, not forever. Thanks a bunch and please post on the BBS when the bishounen section of your site will be putted up. Expect me to e checking it! Thanks a lot!!! ^.~

**To Otaku Pitcher:** Wow, that's one long review you gave me! Thanks anyway! Naturally, I appreciate how you review my work. Anyway, I'm sorry about your net being down for three days… if you ask me, I wouldn't survive!!! (I mean it!) At least, you've gotten through it. Chichiri and Kouji are going to be in the story, but they aren't the real major players in this fanfic (Well, they're have a quite major role). Care to try again? If you read my summary and some reviews, you'll able to get that "mysterious" person ^.^, Which reminds me, you were saying about a fanfic you're working on? Of course I would like to read it! You don't have to be embarrassed about it. My e-mail is indicated somewhere so I'll be waiting for it, okay? Why don't you post it up so I would be also reviewing you (You know the saying: If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours? It sort of goes like that). And mind you, I'm not a yaoi fanatic so I don't read anything involves that romantic pairings! Well, I've read one, it was nice but I'm not a yaoi fan. *yuck* By the way, who are SIs or Mary Sues? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with them… care to share? =^^=.

**To Kittychan:** Hello there! Thank you for reviewing my work again and I'll be reading yours soon! I'm really sorry if I couldn't read your story earlier because as you can see, I've got summer classes going on for college entrance examinations and this fanfic of mine. But I promise that I'll review it chapter by chapter (The many the reviews, the better! I'll add 16 reviews or more in your story! .). And thanks for being a true fan. And I'll be notifying you as soon as the next chapter is up! I already invited my friends in reading your fic, I hope they get the chance to review it just as I would ^.^. And please inform me as well when you're putting up the new chapter of your story, okay? Thanks a bunch!!! =^.^=

**To Michiru:** At last! You've already reviewed my work! I thought you wouldn't say anything. Anyway, I hope to get more reviews from you! Thanks for the compliments, I really appreciate it. And I'm sorry if I'll update it after a while, my schedule is getting loading every minute. Hope to get a reply from you soon! And I'm proud that you're in the fic because you're my BACF!!! .

And that's it!

If you have any suggestions, comments, any ideas for the next chapters, or simply want to talk or pester me (or maybe not…), please e-mail me at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be replying to you very soon!

And those who wanted to be updated, please leave your e-mail address whenever you review my work or plainly e-mail me again at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be sending you an e-mail for notification, okay? Just reply to notify me if you ever received it.

Okay, that's all! Until then, Ja ne! *waves goodbye.*


	4. Author's Notice

Author's notice:

Gomen nasai minna-san!

I know that you're already pissed off or something by not putting up the next chapter after 2-3 months. I'm REALLY SORRY! I've been loaded with test, home works and projects ever since school started. Sigh. I might be delaying Chapter 4 again, probably I'll be posting up this August. So please bear with me and continue to support this fanfic…  

I'll be notifying you guys whenever chapter 4 is up, okay?

Thank you for your consideration.

A dying author,

Nokurai To-orima


	5. Asu E no Yuuki Courage Towards Tomorrow

**Even Though It's Painful… Always**

By Nokurai To-orima

**Disclaimer:** The usual blah, yakitty-yak… you get the point. I don't own FY. If I own it, I wouldn't be making this… 

**Author's Notes:** As usual, I'm going to apologize for the lateness of this chapter due to unexpected circumstances along the month (again!). Please bear with me. Domo.

**Spoiler Alert:** The following contents of the story contain spoilers from the manga and anime series, which also includes the OAVs. Some circumstances connected to Genrou's Den (Novel of Tasuki by Yuu Watase) and Eikou Den (Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden by Nishizaki Megumi-sensei) will eventually show up… well, probably.

"Seiryuu…?"

He turned his back on me, "Do you see that Dragon over there?"

He took a step aside, letting me see a clear view of what he's talking about. A glimpse of its green scales flooded my mind of Michiru's gift.

_Yes._

_The artwork and this portrait._

_Both are similar…_

"You see," he started, "In our world, each empire have their own god to worship. Genbu for the North, Byakko for the West, Suzaku for the South and Seiryuu for the East."

_So…_

_A supreme being does exist…_

_Or is it just a mere manipulation plot to control one's faith and beliefs?_

He then faced me, "Well then, are you sent here by Seiryuu?"

"I told you that I—"

I was cut off by the sudden illumination of blue lights and strong currents of wind enveloping my body. Curtains ripped away from the clutches of its holder, while fine weaved carpets begin to coil up from the floor. 

_How dare you question her presence?!_

Scarlet pools broaden as the tone of the voice became recognizable to my ears. I searched for the source, meeting eyes filled with fear from the soldiers holding helplessly unto their weapons, the Emperor immobilized to the floor. 

_My messenger summoned her from the other world…_

_Was I…_

_Summoned?_

_By a messenger…?_

_Michiru?_

Serve her well, or suffer the consequences…

The soldiers and the Emperor uttered a trembling affirmation. After that, the wind subsided and so did the vibrant aura. They looked at me with fear filled eyes, yet respected me as they bowed before me. I gave a weak smile, but I feel my strength flowing dramatically fast out of my body.

Once again, I was consumed by the shadows.

**Chapter 4: Asu E no Yuuki (Courage Towards Tomorrow)**

_Puffs of clouds becomes one with the blue sky. The cool breeze rustles through the lushness of trees and grasses across the hill, also playing with the cherry pink hair of a certain girl in pigtails.___

_"To-orima!" the little girl shouted as she ran through the grasslands of the horizon, bringing a basket full of vibrant-colored flowers._

_"What is it, Micchi?" I said, looking at her from the top of the hill._

_"Hora! Look what I've got!" she proclaimed, emerald eyes sparkling vibrantly as the sun._

_The sight of the floras brightened the face of To-orima's as well. "Suke! They're pretty! Where you got them?"___

_She giggled, "There's a bed of flowers just beside our home. My mom picked them for me and said to give it to you."_

_"Really?! Domo arigatou!" I returned a sweet smile, "Want to make a crown of flowers?"_

_"Hai!"_

_Excited hands look through the woven basket overflowing with nature's priceless beauties. I hummed a nursery rhyme as I connected these things._

_"Ne," Michiru broke my song, "before my mom gave me these, she told me that we wouldn't stay friends forever…" forlorn was the expression of her face._

_Enthusiasm was lost._

_"She's right, we can't be friends forever…"_

_"Naze?"_

_A smirk slowly formed on my lips, "Because… we'll be best friends!"_

_A sudden relief spread across her features. "Really?"_

_"Hai!"  I affirmed._

_"Pinky promise?"_

_"Pinky promise."_

_Yes. _

_Best friends forever…_

* * * * *

The early morning light, diffused through the parchment window coverings, opened my eyes. As usual, I sat up very slowly, recovering my mind and myself. 

_Oh great. _

_Just great._

_Another freaky dream._

_But…_

_Why during my childhood days?_

I think, and think, and think until I couldn't take any more. "When will you ever end…" I sighed out, looking expressionlessly on the wooden ceiling. Peace has settled in the spacious room. Such quiet times like this usually makes me think of the things I wished to forget.

_Such as…_

_Such as…_

_What would you do if someone you know happens to be not the real person?"_

_"Someone who's responsible for something you feared?"_

_"Someone who manipulated your dreams and turned them into nightmares?"_

_"Someone who is guilty about the things happening to you?"_

_"Someone who is no other…_

_Than your best friend."_

"Michiru…"

_I never knew you, did I?_

_To be called as a best friend…_

_Is it REALLY worth it?_

_I may know you well enough, but…_

_Is it really enough?_

_Am I worth it…?_

_Best friends forever?_

_…_

_I promised…_

_Yet I feel so…_

_Undeserving._

_Meaningless._

_It feels like the word 'best friend' is just a title. _

_A need to know that one is there._

_Just a name to exist._

"Ohayo gozaimasu… anou…" an attendant greeted out of nowhere.

"Watashi wa Nokurai To-orima desu." I replied, drowsiness still evident in my voice. "Where am I?" I suddenly asked. Due to deep thinking, I didn't seemed to be aware that I was sitting on a king-sized bed with soft pillows and what seems to be like a comforter. Translucent fabrics covers each side of the bed, making it isolated from that looks like a five-star hotel's room. 

"H-hai. Anou, you are now at the guest quarters of the palace. Some servants are currently fixing your personal room mistress Nokurai." She informed me, getting something from a closet designed with gold dragons and such. 

_It seems that I'll be staying here for a while ne…_

"Here are your clothes, mistress." 

"Please, just call me Nokurai. I'm not used in such formality." I said.  _Speaking about clothes…_ "Anou.. Do you know where…"

She giggled, she seemed to have a talent to do that. "The strange gadget? It's with the Emperor, Nokurai-san.  I think he was oddly confused or curious with such a thing."

_Sou ka… To bring technology in an ancient period will be hard to deal with…_

"And after you dress up, please meet with the Emperor. He wanted to see you." Those were her departing words before she left the room all to myself.

* * * * *

Wrinkles began to deepen.

Eyebrows cross more.

Series of blabbering and theories were heard.

Until someone spoke up, "What is that thing, Emperor?" An old man dressed in blue and green dress pointed at the gadget the Emperor was holding. "And this string that seems to fit around your neck? Do you think…?"

"Do you think its kind of an evil magic?" someone raised up.

"Impossible!" The Emperor contradicted, "How could Seiryuu appeared in her last night if she was evil?"

Another chatter began. "Don't you think that that thing can create an illusion? Such as the Seiryuu god?"

The auburn pools of the Emperor gave a defiant look, "Do you defy our god, o Wise man?!"

"Uh…"

"Ohayo!" I greeted in the doorway. Pairs of confused and scared eyes greeted me. Their stillness infected my bones and voice. _This is making me nervous all of the sudden_, "A… anou… Nokurai To-orima at your service." I gave a quick bow before smiling.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Mistress Nokurai." They all greeted, giving me the goose bumps of being called 'Mistress'.

"Hora! That's my Diskman!" With great excitement, I approached the Emperor to retrieve my gadget. Before I could snatch it away from him, he asked, "What is this?"

My face fell, "In our world, this is called a Discman."

"Discman?" He repeated, seemingly fascinated by the word.

"Hai. This is also known as the CD player. You can play your favorite songs here." I enlighten them. I opened the lid, which made some gasped, and pulled out the CD Michiru gave me. "This is a CD, where all the songs you like to hear are stored. 

_And the song that haunted me…_

I heard audible chattering and questions filling the Emperor's throne room. I inserted the CD back where it belongs and close the lid once more. 

"What is that… Discman for? Does it create magic?"

And in that day, I ended up explaining to them what the future looks like. Such curious people are they…

* * * * *

Stars seemed to find their way to sparkle their light through the shadowed world of the sky. The moon is giving radiance to the world of darkness below, guiding any lost soul on the forest or a frightened kitten looking for its mother. 

"What a day!" I sighed out loud. Explaining and talking about my world turned out to be a complicated subject to tackle. Elaborating such events to these ancient people seemed to be like explaining Geometry to a pre-school student. And they expect me to tell more stories about it tomorrow! 

I walked along a small, secluded garden and sat on large, flat-topped boulders that had been placed gracefully among ornamental shrubs and flowers. A crooked old cherry tree bloomed above me, and its pale pink petals floated soundlessly onto my hair. A spring with water lilies swimming above them seems to find a way to relax my toes for the moment of lone. 

It's been a while since I was alone.

I looked eagerly at my reflection below me. I saw a girl dressed in azure silk robe, embroidered with rich colors of pink, violet and silver spirals. She had deep, red eyes that crammed with mystery and darkness. My schoolmates will properly described it as 'red as the blood dripping out from fresh flesh'. Short dark brown strands of hair almost covered the eyes while the longer ones seemed to find their way along the shoulder. 

I watched what it seems to be a stranger from below until I heard two people buzzing something behind the bushes.

"Do you think we need to report this to them?"

"About what? The new priestess of Seiryuu?"

"Yes, she seemed to be a threat to our country. When she agreed to become the priestess, Kutuo will surely gain courage to attack Konan."

"Then, we should report this immediately!"

"What report?" 

"Gaaaahh!!" Both of them shouted in surprise.

I gave them a grin of innocence, "Hello!" I greeted to pale Kutuo soldiers gasping for air. I can't make out their faces because of the darkness of the night.

They both bowed to me, "Konbanwa, Seiryuu no Miko."

"Are? Seiryuu no Miko? No, no, no, no… I'm not the Seiryuu no Miko around here." I explained to them. Soldiers around here appear to be told that I'm the new priestess of Seiryuu. I just offered my services to the Kutuo, what's with this Miko business? "Look, I'm just going to help Kutuo but I'm not involved in being the Seiryuu no Miko you're talking about." 

"But the commander told us that you're…" 

"I am not…" I gave them a glare that would tell them that if they won't quiet down, I'd eat them. "What are you talking about earlier? About a report an such."

The two stiffened, like they were hiding something, "A-anou…" one stammered, "W-we're talking about… about… about what will be writing for our report tomorrow."

"Ah… ah yes! Of course! W-we need t-to jot down such occurrences and submit it to our commander… yes, that's it!" Another affirmed.

I looked at them quizzically, "Really? Including Konan being home country?" 

They looked pale after the statement. I tried to run but my left arm was caught and a cloth with a strange aroma was covered my nose. Feeling dizzy by the minute, I closed my eyes to start my eternal slumber once more. 

Seeing that the sleeping chemical affected the girl, one 'Kutuo' soldier carried her. "Oh shit, she found out!" One of them freaked out in a whisper.

"We better bring her back to the headquarters."

One gulped, "Do you think Genrou will like this?"

After that, they ran quietly out of the palace, with the foreigner with them.

* * * * *

_Once again…_

_Again and again…_

_I stand alone in the world of black._

_"When will you ever end…" I questioned, looking for the answer in the immense space as I sat down on what appears to be the floor. I tucked in my legs close to my body, wrapping my arms around it. I let my head rest on my knees, while my thoughts wandered somewhere in the depths of my soul…_

_Seeking comfort…_

_However, I couldn't find any._

_Because I was scared._

_I was never strong._

_Being an akuma was just a mask to protect my fragile heart and soul._

_It's not really the real me…_

_Unrestrained, tears dripped on my pale skin. I felt darkness' cold embrace surrounding me once more. I wanted to be comforted…_

_Badly._

_Even Michiru isn't capable of doing it…_

_She's… so far away. _

_"Isn't anyone there?" I mumbled out, desperately asking._

_But I knew, I was alone._

_I was destined to be alone._

_Letting this suffering consume me until I suffocate from its grasp._

_"Hey, you over there!" A rough voice shouted from behind._

_With a little relief and apprehension, "Who's there?" I asked._

Continued…

* * * * *

**AT LAST!!!**

I finished this mental blocker chapter. ^. ^ I'm so HAPPY!!!

And my review classes are over!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad that's over! But yet, classes seemed to start and the entrance exams of different universities seemed to look like monsters! Gaah! They're going to eat my brain!!! *eherm* … sorry about that. I tend to exaggerate sometimes.

To tell you the truth, this chapter was not on my mind… well, just some parts… It happened to pop out from my mind but I couldn't express it too well, so I beg for your humble forgiveness.

I'm sorry if the story is filled with dreams sequences. It's really an important part of the plot, but I feel that it's too much. If you're bothered by it, please tell me so I can lessen them. 

A "few" words for my reviewers:

**To Sakurabaka Sagara:** As usual, you're always the first reviewer on my story and being the editor, I really appreciate your help. And mind you, I couldn't compete with Elea's workmanship when it comes to literature. She's way too good!!! I can be considered as her follower but not in the same level. Whehehehehe… . By the way, I just noticed that in every chapter, you have a favorite line? I'm not that great when it comes to writing!

**To Otaku Pitcher:** Thanks for elaborating… it seems that I don't know about those terms you people use. Rest assured that the main character isn't under Mary Sueism culture. Quite, but not perfect… ^^;;; Love the story you send me, I love it!!! Heheheheh… if ever you have time, please send me the second chapter okay? I'm looking forward to it! Actually, I'm blaming myself for not posting this up sooner so I could send this to you!

**To Kittychan:**Hello! Thanks for reviewing again! As you can see, I reviewed the your story entitled "Angel in Disguise" but up to chapter 4 only because I finished my internet card, hehehe… gomen nasai! . As soon as I refilled my account, I'll be reviewing you once again, okay. Thank you!

**To Ren-chan:** What's with the new nickname? Anyway, thanks for the Furuba VCD. Hopefully, I could make a Kyo x Tohru fic… as soon as I finished mine, hehehe. .

**To LanaPanther:** Wow! Sugoi ne! Another reader! Yatta! Thanks for spending your time reading my fic! I appreciate it very much. Arigatou! I'll try to review your works if my schedule isn't that tight, since examinations are coming up. Once again, thank you and please support this fic, okay?

**To Asha:** You're right… Nowadays, FY authors seemed to be more interested in new animes than FY lately, like me. Hehehehe… well, you can't blame them. Each person wants new ideas and storylines so it seems that these people left FY for another anime. Thanks anyway for reviewing my work and yes! I'll try to fill my dead cold brain with creative ideas! Don't worry about the scarcity of FY authors. I'm pretty sure they'll add. :)

**To Night^^:** You are so bad!!!! I've finished taking the UPCAT but thanks anyway for your encouragement and reviewing my work! (O diba, straight English?)

**To Pebbles:** Hai! Thanks for the encouraging words! I'll try checking out your fanfics as soon as I finished my exams ok? I'll promise to review it also ok? And I'm not that GOOD in writing stories. To my personal opinion, I'm waaay bad as an author. I tend to create such stupid grammar mistakes but thanks for praise anyway ^.~ (Ironic, huh?) And I'll notify you as soon as I finish each chapter. Fair enough?

And that's that!

If you have any suggestions, comments, any ideas for the next chapters, or simply want to talk or pester me (or maybe not…), please e-mail me at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be replying to you very soon!

And those who wanted to be updated, please leave your e-mail address whenever you review my work or plainly e-mail me again at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be sending you an e-mail for notification, okay? Just reply to notify me if you ever received it.

While waiting for eternity to end (yeah right, as if that's possible), keep those reviews flowin'!


	6. Yasashisa Koe de With His Gentle Voice

**Even Though It's Painful… Always**

By Nokurai To-orima

**Disclaimer****: The usual blah, yakitty-yak… you get the point. I don't own FY. If I own it, I wouldn't be making this… **

_Darkness…_

_The only thing that obscured my vision_

_As I tried to speak with an invincible voice somewhere in this world_

_"Who's… there?" I repeated the question, trying not to shiver._

_Tranquility…_

_"Why are you cryin'?" A male voice asked._

_"W-what?! I mean…" Wait a minute, how can he see that I'm crying? But I can't worry about that now. I racked my brain for an explanation. "I-I just got something in my eye… T-that's all…"_

_"Liar." His words made my blood pressure go up._

_"It's okay to weak sometimes…" He continued, "It's not like you're strong forever."_

_"What are you…" I didn't finish my sentence, seemingly confused._

_"You don't have to hide it. I know how it feels to be… " It paused. I heard him breath in, as if he was trying to get a hold of himself._

_"How it feels to be alone…" _

**Chapter 5: Yasashisa Koe de (With His Gentle Voice)**

_Alone…_

"It's okay to cry, as long as you feel better…"

_As long as you feel better…_

_It's the only reason why tears stain my cheek._

_And it was because of HIM._

_The one who shattered my fragile heart…_

_The one who disintegrated my sanity…_

_The one who I loathed so much…_

_So much that I love him…_

_No._

_I shall not be deceived anymore!_

_Even my best friend hates me!_

_Hate…_

_"Nobody hates you…" He suddenly said, seemingly contradicting my thoughts._

_"No… you're wrong… I've gone through a lot of things lately, and I just realized… how life can be so unfair… how one can suffer again and again by its consequences…" My voice began to crack up. I forced my mind not to playback those dreadful reminiscences, they're not worth to be looked at once more. _

_I'd have enough…_

_I just couldn't… take it anymore…_

_"Don't give up!"_

_"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME?!" _

_"What do you know about me?" He returned the question. Not in a mocking way, but somehow, it's like he understands me. Like he watched me and knew everything about me. Do we have the same tragedy?_

_Just like…_

_The song…_

_"Setsunakutemo… zutto…" My thoughts influenced my voice. I quickly covered my mouth before I could say anything more._

_"Yes… and it still does." His voice began to low down. _

_Until now…_

_It's still painful…_

_* * * * *_

Visions covered with blurry swirls of red and oranges.

Ears were welcomed by cries filled with anger.

I shot open my eyes when I heard a shout of agony. Red orbs shrink in size as I found myself lying on the snow-covered land, watching men in armor fighting with spears and swords.

For the first time in my life, I never wished to behold such sight.

The sight of blood wasted, dripping out someone's life drop by drop.

The sight of weapons ripping flesh

The sight of lifeless bodies falling down

_What's happening?_

Someone held my arm. "Ikemasu." He said. 

He was the one who 'kidnapped' me… 

"What's happening? What's going on?" Questions took over my confused my mind, seeking for answers from the person beside me. Even though he was my enemy, I need to know where I am. I need to know my situation. I need to erase the guilt from my mind. 

I just need to know!

He pulled me up and we started to run, run away from the fierce battle. "My name is Yuuhi Akira. I won't let them have you."

"Nani?"

We ran through the dark forest. The trees on the side of the path had become denser, their forms barely visible. It felt as though they were opening up to make way for us, and then closing as soon as we had passed. Several footsteps followed us from behind.

"Kutuo will use you as a source of strength to their army." He informed me, "Letting the soldiers think that their god, with your help, is just beside them, they'll be able to gain enough power to overrun Konan." He explained. 

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, besides of the confusion going at the back my mind. There are two countries. Kutuo and Konan. Both need military power to overrun the other country. Both would have their ideal world but I don't know who's the protagonist or the antagonist in this setting. Konan or Kutuo?

A pause.

"Please trust me." 

_Trust? I've lost so many of that…_

"…" 

"There they are!" Someone shouted before they sprang out from the thick shadows of the woods. It was difficult to see but I'm pretty sure that they're going to ambush us. I look at my companion. He's cursing them under his breath. His grip on his weapon shows that he couldn't take them all down. The odds are against him…

_I don't know who's right or wrong…_

_I'll trust my instincts._

I grabbed his right hand, and putting the blade near my neck. "Tell them not to get near or you'll kill me." I informed him. His look was questioning me, but got the idea after. He locked my left arm with his to look that I'll struggle away.

"Don't come any closer or she'll get it!" He warned.

I'm not good with acting, but what the heck. "Please! I don't want to die yet!" I faked a plea.

The Kutuo soldiers stopped, but then forward again, but much more slowly and careful.

"Oh shit! It didn't work…" 

"I'm serious!" He warned before the edge of the blade was touching my flesh. 

Fortunately, they believed our act and listened to his warnings. I whispered him to moved slowly away from this 'bad guys', and then we were running full speed ahead. The pain and cold began to seep through my veins but I ignored the protests of my legs. Instead, I focused on the route. The sound of footsteps appeared again.

_We should be safe with this distance… somehow. _I thought with a piece of relief in my mind, but a shimmer in the air drew my eyes up onto a branch that hung over the trail. Figures appeared, silently and carefully drawing back their elbow. _Archers!_ I shot a look to my comrade. Judging by his expression, he noticed them also. 

Without warning, it rained silver missiles.  The silver missiles cut and scratch my skin, my body throbs with pain all over. I turned my head at my suppose-to-be kidnapper. Blood seem to drip in every part of his body, yet he kept dodging and running as if he wasn't in that condition. He took a glance, and smiled before focusing back at the arrows attacking him.

Before I knew it, an arrow sped up to me. 

Blood and sweat mingled together as it slide on the contours of my face

Heartbeats seemed to stop their usual rhythm

The darkness of the night was bright

The sharp metal of the arrow was distinguished from the silvery lights in the sky.

Am I going to die…?

Finally, rest in piece…?

I shut my eyes close

And waited for the answer in the shadows.

Continued…

* * * * *

GOMEN NASAI!!!

I'm really, REALLY sorry about the delay (This line is especially to Midnight Kitty). Due to serious case of writer's block and tons of school requirements this time, I'm having a hard time in catching up with my fic. Would you believe that I wasn't able to fiddle through my computer for 2 weeks! That's how life is unfair to a nearly brain-dead author. I'm really sorry about it and please don't give up on me! . 

We have a C.L. requirement that we need to work in a community service for 3 hours this quarter. It will be short but the outputs of this project are really heavy. I'll try my best to update this next time… with the Goddess of luck beside me… *sigh*  

And I'm sorry if this turned out a short one because I was planning of shortening the following chapter for more immediate post up. If you don't like the idea, please tell me so if I can, I'll try to lengthen it a bit ^.~

As usual, I'll leave a note for my reviewers:

**To Sakurabaka Sagara:** Ei, I got the complete series of Fruit Basket!!! Waaahhh!!! The last 2 episodes was such a forlorn one!!!! It's about Kyo-kun's past and it was so sad! Tissue Alert!!! Thanks for the editing  (again) and for reviewing (again) and stating your favorite line (again!). I owe you again, and again, and again… And I'm not Shin's 'reincarnation' and stuff! I'm simply a follower okay? Do I make myself clear?

**To Otaku Pitcher:** WOW!!! Sugoi!!! Chapter 2 was even better than the first! It was soooo good! I send it to a friend and she told me that it was really cool! Now I felt really bad for not posting up chapters in a short period of time. *sob sob* Anyway, thanks for sending me your chapter two. Domo arigatou! It was such a cliffhanger type of chapter that I couldn't wait for the third chappie! Please send it to me as soon as you finish it, okay? Thank you again!

**To Midnight Kitty:** New name, huh? Well, it's sounds cooler than your previous pen name. Anyway, I'm really sorry again for delaying chapter 5. Although I did my best to meet up with your… demands, I wasn't capable enough to do so. I'm REALLY, REALLY **SORRY**!!!!! T.T And I was too busy to review your work. Even though exams are finished, schoolwork that followed was a total HELL. I'm also busy with sketching (Being in an Art club is also a burden) and meeting the demands of my classmates (You know, they kept pestering me to draw them). Life is soooo unfair! Please understand… so I tried shortening this chappie for more frequent(?) post up. What do you think?

**To Pebbles:** I'll do that if only I have the time! Sigh… Thanks for reviewing me!

**To Kiaria:** WOW! A new reader! Thanks for time in reading my work and reviewing it! I appreciate it! ^.^ Anyway, I do tend to add mystery twist in my plot because without conflict, the plot would be bland. Hehehe… Thanks again!

And that's the end of it

______________________________________________________________________________________

If you have any suggestions, comments, any ideas for the next chapters, or simply want to talk or pester me (or maybe not…), please e-mail me at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be replying to you very soon!

And those who wanted to be updated, please leave your e-mail address whenever you review my work or plainly e-mail me again at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be sending you an e-mail for notification, okay? Just reply to notify me if you ever received it.

Thanks again and see you next chapter (hopefully)! And don't forget to review, okay? Ja ne! .


	7. Setsunasa Bitter Pain

**Even Though It's Painful… Always**

By Nokurai To-orima

**Disclaimer:** The usual blah, yakitty-yak… you get the point. I don't own FY. If I own it, I wouldn't be making this… 

_I'm waiting for the strike._

__

__

_I'm waiting for the pain._

__

__

_I'm waiting for my end._

__

__

_Who, in the right mind, would anticipate Death's call?_

__

__

_Someone who have suffered long enough to endure this miserable life…_

__

__

_Who happens to be me…_

__

__

I opened my eyes to see how the arrow would end my life in just a flash.

But instead, I stared in open-mouthed horror.

Akira flew off in front of me, and a long splash of bright blood burst forth from his body. It followed the path of the arrow that had bored his chest. Once through his body, the spent missile struck me a bruising blow on my shoulder, and left a smear of blood on my robe. I saw him land hard on his side, sliding a few feet away before he came into a stop.

"Akira-san!" I shouted as I run towards his limp body. I touched his wrist and search for a pulse. He's still alive. I turned him up, and saw blood blossoming quickly on the front of his tunic. _Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god! What am I going to do? I must stop the blood flow somehow…_ Without thinking, I ripped my sleeves and split each in half before tying it around his chest. At any rate, it won't flow that fast. 

This is at least I can do to repay him in saving my pitiful life…

A branch cracked nearby. I looked up, and once again, the soldiers who were chasing us earlier surrounded us. The rain of arrows must've stopped. I can't fight them in this condition. I can't even run, leaving Akira in the process. I can't do anything. The men sneered, seeing the traitor lying on my lap. 

"Come, Seiryuu no Miko. We must take you back." One said.

**Chapter 6: Setsunasa (Bitter Pain)******

_I won't let them have you._

_They can overrun Konan with their strength._

_Please trust me._

The words of Akira repeated in my ears like a broken record. I can't trust Kutuo now. I feel like I was betrayed. 

But how come I am trusting Konan?

"I don't want to. You killed him!"

One soldier grasped my wrist and pulled me up to feet. "We must take you back. The Emperor wishes it. And if needed, we'll use force." He said, eyes marked with anger.

"DAME!" I twisted his arm before banging him in a tree trunk. I was about to kick him but the pain returned, but my body was too exhausted. I feel my whole body aching. I could hardly move a muscle, but I must resist. I must. 

"Get her!" Someone ordered the others. 

_I must… fight…._

Then I heard clomps of horses' hooves. The soldiers looked alarm, grasping at their weapons tight. I watched in the darkness. I just watched silently beside the barely alive Akira. I was about to shout for help, but then…

"LEKKA SHINEN!" Out of the darkness came out a blistering flame that turned the snow into steam. The ring of flame then sped to the soldiers before me, and turned them into crisp, and then bolted into the night. Leaving Akira and me alone.

"Works every time!" 

_That voice!_

I stood up, carrying Akira on my back. My body complains as I felt the weight of his body. But again, I ignored them. I'm used to pushing myself to the limits during this kind of circumstances. In the sudden silence, a few shadows move from the trees, picking up the weaponry the Kutuo soldiers left. 

"Light the torches! Light the torches!" 

The red-haired man approached me with a torch on his left hand. "What the hell…?" He said as he saw me. "Help…" was only the words I uttered, my body used up all of its strength and I fell unconscious towards him.

* * * * *

At the sight of a barefoot and a nearly naked woman in front of me, all I say is, "What the hell…?" 

She then fell lifelessly before me, landing hard on the ground. "Oi, daijobou ka?" I moved her. No response. Then, I saw another body beside her. "Akira?!" 

"What happened, Genrou?" Kouji suddenly appeared beside me, and became as surprise as I was. He hastily looked for his pulse. "That's a relief, he's still alive. Judging by the clothing around his chest, I'm sure that this lady here helped him." He said as he saw the girl lying unconsciously on the snow. 

"She's not dressed for this weather, is she? Wonder what's she's doing out here?" I said as I examined the girl's thin clothes. 

"Just carry her." Kouji instructed as he carried Akira and left me.

"Why ME?!  You know how I hate women!!! And how did you become the leader all of the sudden?!" 

Kouji shot me a glare, "Look, Akira's almost dying and we don't have time to bicker such an unimportant matter." He informed. With the look of his face, he's confused and angry of what has happened. 

With a sigh, I hoisted her up into my arms, and crunched across the snow. I carried her to my horse where I placed her onto the saddle. I'd unrolled a wool blanket and draped it over her cold shoulder to bring her warmth for a while. I rode on my horse and let her body lean unto me. "Oi Kouji, what do you think happened?" 

Kouji let one of our men take care of Akira before he rode his horse, "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't good. In the meantime, we'll let those two recover and get the answers tomorrow." 

I didn't ask anymore. Knowing him, he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight due to what we've witnessed. Like Kouji said, I'll be getting the answers tomorrow. I glance at the young girl sleeping in front of me.

_What the hell is she doing in the middle of the war? _

_She's not even dressed for the weather! _

_And why is she together with Akira?_

_Is she a—_

"I'll take her, Genrou. You don't look comfortable with her." Kouji offered with false concern.

"Nah, I got her Kouji. You just lead us to the cabin." 

He then spurred his horse forward. "Why? Are you busy wondering if she looks good on you," he grinned when he passed me. 

The mountain was filled with curses and swears.

* * * * *

When we arrived at the cabin, the men went efficiently about their evening tasks. They set up a watch while casting furtive glances at the young woman all the while. I instructed the other bandits to bring Akira to the nearest doctors. The girl, however, was to treated here at our hideout. I deposited her near the fire, and threw another blanket in her direction. She was curled up in rough-hewn chair and was still asleep amid the chaos, safe and warm. 

"WHAT THE FUCK?! SHE'LL BE SLEEPING IN MY QUARTERS?! FIRST, YOU LET ME CARRY HER AND NOW THIS?!" I protested. I feel steam coming out of my hot head.

Kouji brought out bandages and herbs before ministering to the wounds of the young lady. "She's going to stay with you and that's final!" Kouji 'ordered'. He might look serious but inside him, he's laughing mad. 

"I'm the leader around here and my decision is no! She'll not be sleeping in my room!!!" I shook my head furiously, earring swinging.

"What do we do then?" He asked.

Silence seems to found a way to occupy the room. 

"Hey, I got it!" Kouji exclaimed, making me jump a bit. "She can bunk with the men! How much trouble can she get into? I mean, she's—"

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! SHE'D BE SAFER WITH YOU THAN WITH THOSE… THOSE MEN!!!" I interrupted him before he can get any perverse ideas. 

"There, she's all done!" Kouji secured the last bandage on her arm.  

I sighed, "I guess she'll be sleeping in my room. Oi Kouji, can I bunk with you?" I asked hopefully. I just can't stand sleeping together with a girl in the same space!

"Sure pal, no problem. I'm sure none of the guys will have any idea that she's sleeping in your room. Alone. Unprotected." 

I hung my head in defeat, "Kuso! I better make some arrangements!" 

_That's why I hate women! They're such a pain in the neck!_

I carried her to a warm sleeping bed, and tucked her in with several blankets. I spread out a quilt on the wooden floor and threw some pillows and a blanket beside the bed. Before I could lie down, I studied her for a while.

_The hair color is similar to hers…_

_She does look like her…  _

I shake my head to remove the past in my head. 

_I don't want to remember anymore._

_I don't want to feel the pain anymore._

Before I notice it, I drifted off to a dream.

* * * * * 

_And here I am again strolling…_

_Strolling around with my red eyes staring…_

_Staring at the same darkness…_

_Darkness in the same empty world…_

_A world that I alone seem to exist…_

_Existing together with the miseries…_

_Miseries that have been eating me bit by bit…_

_"It's okay to cry, as long as you feel better…"_

_The gentle voice…_

_The gentle voice that soothed my soul with its words…_

_He was here when the previous dream sequence occurred._

_Where is he?_

_Talking about voices, I wonder what happened to me when those men arrived? Am I safe? Am I killed? Am I…_

_Why do I bother? _

_I don't want to live and I wanted to die…_

_And if I ever did lived…_

_How I wished to be dead!_

"Don't say that!" A voice shouted in fury. 

The voice has returned. I wanted to ask for his comfort, but pride took over my mind. "And why not? I have the right to do so! Who wants to live a life filled with downfalls?! I deserve to die and rest in peace!!!" I fought back.

"Everything has a purpose, don't you think?"

"Being hated has a purpose? To what? To punish me? To kill me softly with guilt?"

"What makes you think you're hated?" He shot back. 

That question made me think for a while.

"I'm alone right now, can't you see? This proves that I'm detested! Unloved!"

_And being alone makes me weak…_

_And being weak is my most despised state…_

_That's why I sought to die…_

"I'm still here, talking to you."

"What…"

"Being all alone is just an excuse for you to have a reason to die. 

But the truth is, you don't want to give in to your frailty.

Your frailty to be rejected."

_My weak point… he found it._

"You're not the only one feeling the same pain…"

"I know what it feels to be alone…"

_That line! He said that before._

Before I could ask, a white light blinded me.

_Since when did I saw this?_

* * * * *

The gentle touch of the warm wind caressed my cheek as I found myself sauntering on a field of wild flowers. Kneeling down, I touched the amethyst colored flower near me. It seemed so real. But I knew I was still on a dream. Yet, I feel an unusual aura around me. As if I already went here before…

_It feels so…_

_Familiar…_

I've searched my brain for some answers, with no avail. Suddenly, I heard voices coming from far away. I stood up, looking for the source, as a swirl of the spring breeze blew through the valley, tossing my hair. 

"Can't catch me!" The young man with raven black hair cried out, running through the green grass. A smile was playing on his lips as he climbed up a small hill a few meters away from me. I turned to see to whom he's talking to. 

My eyes went wide as I saw a replica of myself, except that the girl running forward had longer hair.  "Akai! Wait up!" she shouted, still running. She ran past me, as if I don't exist.

_Akai?_

A jolt of realization struck me, making my eyes go wider than ever. The girl wasn't a replica, but it was me. And the adolescent she's calling was my guy best friend… and my first love. Kaminari Akai. This is what I've dreaded to recall. This is what I've tried to forget. Tried to forget how this scene made my heart skip a beat and at the same time, smash it into little bits of dust. 

_Because this scene was when…_

He stopped on top of the hill, looking around as if drinking in the beauty of the valley. He then laughed at the sight of a young girl drenched in sweat and was out of breath. 

"You okay?" He asked, giggles still escaping from his mouth.

"Do I look like I'm alright?" My past self said in a questioning tone, still breathing loudly. She lay down on the grass due to exhaustion. Akai did the same, feeling the soft grass brush in his arms and the wind blew a relaxing warmth against their faces. 

I didn't want to talk back then. I was feeling a bit awkward whenever I'm the one who's going to break the silence. 

"Feeling better now?" He asked again. 

She just nodded. 

"Yokatta. I thought you'd get angry again…" he laughed once more, trying to cheer her up as usual. She just gave him a blank stare before resuming to staring at the clouds. 

_What's with the clouds that I kept staring at them?_ I asked myself as I continued to watch my play backed memory. 

"Ne, Rima…"

"Nani?"

"Anou… who was the guy you were with yesterday?"

She gave an intent look at him before laughing her head off. "You… hahaha… are so… hahahaha… hahaha… funny!" She said with the hahaha's in every word. 

He pouted, "What's so funny about it? I was just asking who was the guy you were with yesterday." 

She chuckled, "You're acting like my onii-san."

"What's wrong with that? It ain't bad if I was concerned about you! What if that guy took you somewhere and did something to you? Or what if—"

"He was my second cousin, okay? Don't worry about it!" She assured him and giving him a smile that he knows what it means: drop it. Before he could retaliate, a cell phone beeped. 

1 message received.

Before she could read, he swapped it away from her hand and looked at it. His right eyebrow went up as he read out loud the text message: 

"Hi To-orima! How's your day? I just wanted to invite you to have a snack with me at our favorite bar near the beach… if it isn't a hassle to you. Let's chat about the good ol' days… and I wanted to meet someone, and that someone is a she! You get the point! ^^ Please reply back asap!"

"Who's Ryoku?" He questioned her again.

"He's the person I was with yesterday." She answered, obviously irritated by his constant questioning. She took again the cell phone and replied:

"No problem! I'm free all afternoon anyway so don't worry about you being an obstacle in my daily routine.  And you got a GIRLFRIEND?! I hope she ain't blind! Hehehehe… ^^ you're not the only one who got someone to introduce that has a relationship with you! Okay, I'll see you then! Bye-bye!"

He, again, seized her phone and has done something. He returned it with an odd look on his face. She gave him a weird look before looking on her phone. Shock and embarrassment was visible on her face as she read the edited version of the text message:

"No problem! I'm free all afternoon anyway so don't worry about you being an obstacle in my daily routine.  And you got a GIRLFRIEND?! I hope she ain't blind! Hehehehe… ^^ By the way, you're not the only one who got someone to introduce that has a relationship with you! Okay, I'll see you then! Bye-bye!"

She looked at him with an unreadable expression in her eyes. He returned her gaze with his. 

_This is when Akai…_

"You're joking… right?" She asked in a nervous tone.

_…proposed me._

Before she knew it, he planted a light kiss on her lips.

And the picture went black.

* * * * *

The early morning light, diffused through the white window coverings, slowly opened my eyes. I found myself staring at a wooden ceiling and lying in an unfamiliar bed. Suddenly, I remembered going unconscious in the middle of the battle and the men that arrived in the scene. I moved my hand near to my face. It was covered with bandages spotted with blood. By the looks of things, someone saved me and treated me.

I tried to sit up, but my head throbbed in pain. I cursed myself for being so careless as I tried to ease myself. The sunray caught my attention as it penetrated through the coverings. I turned my head to the right and tried to look what's outside. With the bright sunlight piercing my eyes again, all that I can picture was trees and a little bit of the mountain. There didn't seem to be any sign of Kutuo. No armor clinking, no yelling orders, no Kutuo.

_Where in the universe am I?_

Continued…

* * * * *

**Author's Note:**

YAHOO!!! 

Chapter 6 is now finished! Let's celebrate! *Starts to drink sake*

As usual, I'm sorry about the delay because I was too absorbed by this chapter and I've been aching to write this part ever since I started this fic… well, not really aching but I wanted to clear things out like who is the HE the main character is preferring to. And by the look of things, I'll be coming back to longer chapters again… sigh, how life is sooo unfair to me… (Note: Don't you know that all of my chapters, except for chapter 5, are nine pages long and chapter 5 is only 5 pages? Well, I just complimented the number of pages with the chapter number! Hehehehe…)

I'm also sorry if I've confused you on who's talking in some parts. In this fic, Tasuki/Genrou/Kou Shun'u and Rima-chan will be in first person point of view. I'll be giving some hints of who's talking anyway. If you got confused, please tell me so I may know. 

Anyway, here's a memo for my reviewers (I love communicating, don't you?):

**To Otaku Pitcher:** Hai! I'll wait for your fic! Even if I'll wait for a thousand years! Hehehehe… just kidding! . I know that its kind of early to say this but I wanted to thank for reviewing me all they way! Thanks a lot! ^.^

**To ****~*FireAngel*~ : **Another reader! Yatta! Thanks for your time! I appreciate it! .

**To Spooky Fyre:** I know, but I like chapters that are really cliffhangers so the readers will get more… a suspense? Hehehe, thanks for your time anyway! I appreciate it! If you want to whack me, go ahead! Just make sure you'll hit me! hehehehe… ^.~

**To ChibiSamisala:** A new reader again! Wow, I'm getting new reviewers every chapter! That's nice… ^.~ Thanks for your time in reading my fic! I hope to see you again in the upcoming chapters! And you're welcome!

**To Viette Adele:** Yatta! A new reader once again! I'm gaining popularity here! Hehehe… just joking! Thanks for complimenting my writing skills, although I still feel that I've got a few grammatical errors. Thanks for having time reading my fic, anyway. One reviewer is equal to a hundred of inspirations!

**To Night^^: **When will you ever stop pestering me…

**To Midnight Kitty:** I'll wait for the next chapters! In the meantime, I'll send some sketches as soon as I scan them! Please send me some of your sketches too, okay! Thanks a lot anyway! Luv your fics also! 

Before I end, I want you to take note of the following:

For those who want to be updated, please review and leave me with your e-mail address or directly e-mail me saying: HAI HAI! PLEASE UPDATE ME!

For those who I update, but doesn't want to be updated, please review or directly e-mail me saying: SHUT UP! YOU'RE IRRITATING ME!

My e-mail address is **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** in case you want to know. 

See you on the next chapter update! Ja ne!


	8. Dengon A Message

**Even Though It's Painful… Always**

By Nokurai To-orima

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FY. If I did, I wouldn't be making this…

_Where in the universe am I?_

_If I'm not in Kutuo, then where…_

Then, there was a knock on my door, "Ohayo gozaimasu! Who's there? It's me Kouji! May I come in? Sure! Thank you!" and the door opened to reveal a blue-haired man holding a cloth bag on his right hand. He greeted me with a smile, "Good morning!"

This time, I sat up, ignoring the complaints of my aching head. I returned a faint smile as a sweat drop appears at my head. _What a strange fellow._ _Is he talking to himself or what?_

"Feeling well?" 

Silence.

"Daijobou… it's understandable. By the looks of the injuries you've acquired, I say you're one lucky gal. I'm glad you're awake, though. You've been sleeping for three days now." He informed, removing the bandage on my right arm. 

I suddenly felt embarrassed, I'm not used to people being concern about me except for my parents and my best friend. He must've noticed my colored cheeks. "It's okay, no need to be shy now."

"Thank you so much… anou…"

He smiled again, "Kouji's the name. And you?"

"Nokurai To-orima desu. Glad to meet you."

**Chapter 7: Dengon (A Message)**

He then put out a small bowl and put in some green liquid in it. He dipped a cloth and start tending on my wounds. I took a sharp intake of air as pain pierced my skin. He noticed it. "Gomen, I should've warned you that this stuff may hurt, but it's the best healing herb around here."

"Anou… I'm sorry for the trouble. If there's something…"

"Daijobou… I'm just doing what a person should do to an injured person, alright? You can repay us by getting well, ne?" He gave me a cheerful smile as he patted my head like a cat, his green eyes gleamed with the same expression as his voice. 

"Domo…"

"Oi, Kouji, who the hell are you talking to?" An orange-haired man surprisingly appeared inside the room. The blue-haired fellow stood up and met the person near the doorway, obscuring my attempt to see the man's face.

"How's the patrol, Gen-chan?" I heard Kouji coo.

The other bandit laughed, "Still the same boring view, but the winter breeze felt good once in a while."

_That voice is so… familiar…_ My heart came to a sputtering halt, then, it began beating again, with a different rhythm.

With one fluid motion, Kouji turned his back against the man and pointed at me, balking me in surprise. The man appeared from the doorway, his hand consciously running through his hair flame-colored hair.

Our eyes locked.

* * * * *

_That's strange, I feel that I've seen those eyes before… those bloody pools that were marked with anger and forsakenness… she does look familiar… but where?_

* * * * * 

_That's strange, I feel that I've seen those eyes before… those fiery pools that were marked with anger and forsakenness… his voice is also recognizable… but where?_

* * * * *

Kouji coughed loudly before introducing us to each other, "By the way, Nokurai-chan, this is Genrou, the leader of the Mt. Leikaku's bandits. Genrou-chan, this is Nokurai To-orima, the lady you've saved three days ago."

"Nice to meet you."

"Un." Was all he said. He then turned to talk with Kouji at the far end of the room, which had given me the time to take a good look at him. Genrou, also known as invincible wolf, had a fire-touched hair and cat-like eyes. Dressed in a blue coat over a white shirt and pants and his brown leather boots, the weather wouldn't be a bother for him. _I wonder what was the thing he had behind him?_

I was about to ask when a sudden opening of the door intervened with my attempt. All of us found a young man in green clothes and white boots in the doorway, "Kouji, Genrou, there's a problem in the forest near the lake. Some of our people reported that they've seen Kutuo soldiers." He said, making me worried.

Have they found me?

Kouji and Genrou looked at each other before going out the door. But before Kouji closed the door, he said, "Don't worry, we'll be back after awhile." And then he closed it.

I plopped back on my bed, trying to get some sleep. _It's been five days… I wonder what's happening on my world?_ I looked at the ceiling, still pondering on that question.

* * * * *

_It's been 5 hours since she's gone…_

A cherry pinked-haired girl thought as she stared at the wall clock in front of her. The ticking of it was the only the audible sound you can hear… until, several phone rings echoed through the dark room. 

"Konnichiwa, Fujimiya Michiru here. How may I help you?" 

"Ei Micchi! It's me, Heren." 

"Konnichiwa, why you called?"

"Well, since you're the only one she's close to… have you seen To-orima? I mean… I haven't seen her all morning! She won't answer her cell phone for crying out loud! We're supposed to do our computer project due next week and she doesn't show up!" She informed, obviously panicking on the other end of the line.

A forlorn expression befell on Michiru's face, "Iie, she said about visiting her brothers to see how they're doing." She lied. She knew how her best friend hated her siblings. But what else can she say? If she told her the truth, she would actually laugh at it. Who would believe that she's a teen from the ancient times, anyway?

A pause, and then a sudden outbreak of giggles. "To-orima? Visiting her brothers? You've got to be kidding me! I know how she hates her brothers, and it would only been a miracle if she visited them!!! Is she sick or something?" Heren questioned as if she could read through Michiru's lie.

She faked a laugh, "You know her… her mind must've been twisted."

_Like mine._

"Probably an angel, miraculously, infected her brain. Anyway, if she calls you up or something, please tell her to contact me ASAP so we can talk about our project, okay? You know how much I rely on her when it comes to computers."

"I will."

With that, the phone was hung up. And a lucid drop of liquid landed on the handset.

* * * * *

After breakfast was served, a bandit, who is known as Shiro, lent me some of the extra clothes they have, which turns out to be several worn out shirts, a thick coat, pants that are a little big and black boots. 

As I finished dressing, I went out in search for adventure.

I talked to the men on post, I found out that Kouji and Genrou had gone with the scouting party. Instead of slumping around to wait for them, I spent the whole morning drifting aimlessly along the long corridors of the bandit's headquarters, humming a tune of a song that pops out in my head. As I came across some members of this group, they all asked me the questions about myself. I can feel a visible sweat drop forming in my temple. I declined them and returned to my little "journey". 

After a few minutes of strolling across the white snow, going from one part of the camp to the other, being welcomed wherever I went, I suddenly ended up in the kitchen of the headquarters. Sitting near the cook without trepidation, I watched him, in the corner of the warm cookhouse, prepare a dozen of dishes skillfully. He gave me a quick glance before putting a knife and a cutting board in front of me. I gave him a questioning look.

"Instead of slumping over there and watching me, why don't you peel and slice these." He said before demonstrating on how to do the needed task. I just nodded. He, then, passed me a barrel of radish before going back to his cooking. I worked alongside him in the steam-laden building humming along the way. After hours of skinning and slicing the vegetables, I stood up and stretched my arms up high as if reaching the ceiling, and then cleaned my work place before heading out to the door. He called me out and gave me three peaches still bundled up. I thanked him and ran outside to the winter afternoon.

I nibbled on one as I was still on my exploration trip, holding the two fruits on my right hand. I suddenly heard several curses on the entrance… _I guess they're back_. I thought as I saw Genrou and Kouji walking towards the building, giving their horses to the men by the stables. 

I welcomed them by waving at them.

* * * * *

"Oi Gen-chan, look who's waving..." He whispered with a sly smile as he returned the wave. 

I raised my brow, "So what?! As if I care!" I grumbled. What's the problem with this guy? I mean, gushing over a girl like that? "We don't know about her and you treat her like you've known her for a long time! What if she's a spy or something?"

As we continued to walk towards her direction, Kouji's expression suddenly became serious, "When the time comes, she'll tell us something. All we have to do is wait. She just got healed so don't rush things yet. You might regret it."

What do I have to regret?"

When we reached her, Kouji patted her brown hair, asking her what she's been doing while they were gone. She talked about her 'discoveries' in the stronghold, how the men greeted her and took her in, and how she helped the cook in peeling and slicing radishes. 

"Oh, I almost forgot!" She took out two peaches and offered it to us. Kouji took one. I took one also, my fingers brushing against hers. For some reason, I don't like to eat the peach. But what the heck… I chomped on it. She suddenly asked us on how was the mountain trip, and Kouji did all the talking. I suddenly remembered that night wherein the Kutuo soldiers surrounded her and Akira. I wanted to ask her about that issue. But then again, Kouji might kill me if I asked her now. Maybe I could talk to her, one on one.

A few minutes later, someone called my name. All of us looked at the source of the voice. It was a newbie. He was running on the thick snow and when he came to us, he was perspiring a lot beside of the cold weather.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Sir, it's about Akira."

Continued…

* * * * *

At long last! Chapter 7 is finished… 

**_GOMEN NASAI MINNA-SAN!!!_** Sorry if I wasn't able to update due to severe writer's block and I've got many plans ahead of my fanfic! Hehehehe… 

Anyway, I think my survey didn't get any… answers except for one person though… Thanks **Kiara**! But I just decided to update people who review this fic so thanks for reviewing anyway.

By the way, for those who're familiar with the anime named **_FRUITS BASKET_**, I want to invite you to read my fanfic entitled **_"I WISH I KNEW…" _**(4 chapters and still on going.) and **_"BLOOD AND TEARS"_ **(2 chapters, new project of mine). Although I know I got a couple of grammatical errors, please read and review! Arigatou! 

And I'm sorry about the previous chapter! I was soooo careless! I spotted a few grammatical errors like the text messages, they're exactly the same!!! But don't worry, I replaced it! So if you want to re-read it, go ahead, no one's stopping you. ^.~

A word for my reviewers:

**To Otaku Pitcher:** _YOU ARE SO UNFAIR!!!! _You'll just send it whenever I update?! How cruel! How diabolic! How… how… oh never mind! Well, at least you already send it to me! Hehehehe… Thanks for granting my favor though… I hope I'm not… stubborn in asking for the chapters… It's a cool story, even though you don't want to admit it. I'm just curious what kind of story line it has. Thanks for reviewing my fic anyway! And do I really have a good writing strategy? My friend told me I'm losing my touch! Hehehehe… . Chapter 3 was quite confusing at first so I re-read it and I got it! ^.~ So Ryu is a new character… I wonder what will happen next… please send me the next chapter okay?

**To Midnight Kitty:** Oh it's okay… we're both busy and tired of all these schoolwork. I'm also sorry if I didn't review your work as soon as you updated it… I guess I got the wrong idea about your fic ne? Hehehe… Thanks for reviewing my work! I seemed to have a problem in reviewing all my reviewer's work and my favorites one! Hehehehe… Thanks again! " By the way, make sure you update me when you've posted up the new chapter okay? I'll be waiting for it… if you don't inform me… I'll never review your fic! BWAHAHAHAHA! *evil laughter* …just kidding! .

**To Haruko-chan:** Wow! Sugoii na! I'm getting a new reader in every chapter! Thanks for dropping in! I'm suddenly curious on how you stumbled upon my fanfic… care to share? Oh, thanks for reviewing my work! I appreciate it! And oh, sorry about the spacing… it's… ummm… because I like to "emphasize" a thought of the character that I tend to make it… spacious. And I save it in .html format sooo…. One space is equivalent to 2 spaces when posted up… thanks for dropping in anyway! By the way, I'm giving you an exercise for your fingers! You should thank me for it! .

**To LanaPanther:** Hora! Nice to see you again! Long time no review! Hehehe… I'm sorry if I haven't existed on one of your reviewers' list though, I've been too busy with schoolwork and my hobbies… although I can't jumble up anime and schoolwork at the same time due to the fact that they're completely different things… or subjects… anyway, thanks for dropping in again! Hope you don't mind me dropping a line in your e-mail every now and then. I just like pestering people!

**To Kiara:** Thanks for answering the survey… although I'll be turning it down due to some reasons… or maybe I'm more comfortable that I want to drop an e-mail or update my reviewers… I'll have a pang of guilt if I don't… hehehehe… By the way, thanks again for dropping a review! Hope to expect you in the future chapters! And I'll be checking up on your fics next week! I'm sure of it!!! . Hope you'll see me in one of your fics!

If you have any suggestions, comments, any ideas for the next chapters, or simply want to talk or pester me (or maybe not…), please e-mail me at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be replying to you very soon!

And those who wanted to be updated, please leave your e-mail address whenever you review my work or plainly e-mail me again at **furyoushoujo@hotmail.com** and I'll be sending you an e-mail for notification, okay? Just reply to notify me if you ever received it.

And that's it! Until the next chapter update! Ja ne!


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